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Conan the Barbarian #5 (2023) review

Thrice Marked for Death!... it sounds like a must see Steven Seagal movie to me, but it's not, sword-brothers, sword-sisters... it's only a Queen of the Black Coast sequel by Jim Zub.

With his buccaneer days over for the moment and with the Amra, the Lion persona still further along in his future, Conan the Cimmerian corsair is trying to get a certain she-devil of the sea out of his system.

Back on terra firma our woebegone barbarian brigand has joined a guild of thieves called the GloryHounds.

Will this brand-new arc finally quench my thirst for a good heroic fantasy story? We shall see.

What I did like:

The Patch Zircher tetraptych! Combine covers #5-8 to form a cool Conan quadriptych. 

Doug Braithwaite is hitting it out of the London stadium. Bravo!

Colours by Diego Rodriguez are fine.

The chat? You mean the cat burglar? A little taste of French Canada from Zub is always good to see.

Shadizar is full of shady characters.

Erlik mentioned.

The Living Tarim mentioned.

Bel, god of thieves mentioned.

A Theda Bara/Margaret Brundage/Weird Tales homage cover that features a certain femme fatale of the Hyborian age by Rebeca SubversiveGirl Puebla!

A superb cover by Mr. Berserker Unbound Mike Deodato!

An advert for The Heroic Legends Series - Solomon Kane: The Hound of God by Jonathan Maberry.

What I did not like:

Jonathan Maberry's name is misspelled in the Heroic Legends advert.

NO letters page!

The Queen of the Black Coast recap could have been sexier, clearer, cooler and much classier.

This weird obsession with corpses, stacks of them. Always a pile or 2 in each issue. Quite disturbing and idiotic.

An incompetent editor. It's your job, Murray, to tell Zub: "Enough with the stupid corpses! Stop it. Get some help."

The bloodstained heist was questionable, disappointingly short and it did not shatter my senses. If you blink you'll miss it.

The premature return of the Black Stone. It's just too soon. I wanted to forget the previous storyline.

NO giant spiders!

NO giant bats!

NO Aikido anywhere! What the heck?!

Little Chaundra is able to lift up a drunken 250 pounds Conan? Please.

The gore. Conan is an angry, moody monster and a butcher.

Chaundra doesn't pussyfoot around, she's also a butcher. Not a great role model for anyone. Lame.

Where's the silent, stealthy thief from The Tower of the Elephant?

Yag-kosha not mentioned.

Still no cover by British comics artist Colin MacNeil!!!

I give it a 5/10. The upcoming SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN #1 has 3 variant covers, but not one features the return of SOLOMON KANE written and drawn by Patrick Zircher!!!! This is disrespectful and unacceptable, Titan!

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