Bottalk Reviews

Robert E. Howard's Solomon Kane the dour English Puritan Swashbuckler gets a complete collection of his classic Marvel adventures. Sadly no Dark Horse Comics Guy Davis monster creations inside at all. You get All the pin-ups, adverts, text pieces + All the Kane stories from The Sword of Solomon Kane limited series, Savage Sword of Conan, Conan Saga, Kull and the Barbarians, Marvel Premiere, Marvel Preview, Monsters Unleashed and Dracula Lives. My favourite stories are: A Marvel Team-Up featuring the ectomorph: Kane in his twilight years and the mesomorph: Conan the Barbarian in his prime (The Moon of Skulls II: Death's Dark Riders by Roy Thomas and Colin MacNeil). Kane versus a ghost that kills (Skulls in the Stars by Ralph Reese). Kane versus a Lovecraftian cloud of blood (The Footfalls Within by Don Glut, Will Meugniot and Steve Gan). Kane versus the bat-people (Wings in the Night by Don Glut and David Wenzel). Kane versus vampires/zombies/the walking dead men (The Hills of t

Thrice Marked for Death!... it sounds like a must see Steven Seagal movie to me, but it's not, sword-brothers, sword-sisters... it's only a Queen of the Black Coast sequel by Jim Zub. With his buccaneer days over for the moment and with the Amra, the Lion persona still further along in his future, Conan the Cimmerian corsair is trying to get a certain she-devil of the sea out of his system. Back on terra firma our woebegone barbarian brigand has joined a guild of thieves called the GloryHounds. Will this brand-new arc finally quench my thirst for a good heroic fantasy story? We shall see. What I did like: The Patch Zircher tetraptych! Combine covers #5-8 to form a cool Conan quadriptych.  Doug Braithwaite is hitting it out of the London stadium. Bravo! Colours by Diego Rodriguez are fine. The chat? You mean the cat burglar? A little taste of French Canada from Zub is always good to see. Shadizar is full of shady characters. Erlik mentioned. The Living Tarim mentioned. Bel, god

Spoilers! Spoilers!  The merciless Starscream ices soldier Frosting, this pisses off Channing Tatum... oops, I mean Hauser so much so that he will start his own secret military science fiction unit: G.I. Joe. Conrad is calling his Ninja croupier friend in Vegas: Snake Eyes, right now. Starscream squished his best friend, now a sober, somber Sparkplug Witwicky wants retribution. Could Starscream be correct? Are the Autobots actually pure evil? Yes! They want to dominate the human race? Yes! The malevolent Optimus Prime kills a fawn, oh dear, and does not bury it! The hypocrite leader of the Autobots clearly cries bogus tears for the baby deer and the fallen Bumblebee. Crocodile tears from the one also called Alligaticon! Never forget that Prime murdered Teletraan One (see last issue), to stop it from reviving more upstanding and decent Decepticons, but also to keep it quiet, naturally, loose spaceship lips sink ships you know. The foul Cliffjumper fakes that he's afraid and unaware

aka Conan Le Cimmérien - Le Maraudeur noir Clearly inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter and never published during his lifetime, The Black Stranger by Robert E. Howard gets poorly adapted in France. Robert just can't get a break. The amateurish art of Jean-Luc Masbou is not ready for prime time. The human form is not mastered at all. Enthusiasts of anatomy will be severely upset. Faces look all too often like boiled potatoes or rotting pumpkins. Nonetheless lots of work is put in the vegetation of the Pictish wilderness, rock formations, the fort, masted sailing ships, weapons and clothes. The strange black Stygian mage/demon also disappoints by not being consistent or creepy enough. The terrible lettering makes the tale almost illegible. The pin-ups for The Treasure of Tranicos are all embarrassing except for the one by master Philippe Druillet, but it's cropped. Cropped? What the heck? Yes, and this is extremely disrespectful. Shame on you Glénat, Jean-Dav

Jim Zub's miserable and interminable zombie tale of ennui ends, at last. Conan transcends the abyss soup, chills with Brule, kills a Lovecraftian creature and escapes this poorly written story arc. What I did like: A cover that features A WOMAN of the Hyborian age by Giada Marchisio!! Bound in Black Stone is done, finished. My boy, Brule, the Spear-Slayer finally appears. Collapsing structures is a very Howardian way of finishing a sword and sorcery tale. Conan Father’s Sword from the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger film appears. The Frost-Giant's Daughter cover by Cary Nord is bitter sweet because Titan Comics are presently not adapting the stories of Robert E. Howard. It's only pastiches for now. Let's hope they change their minds and give us adaptations in the future! Nice cover by Nick Percival. What I did not like: Still no cover by British comics artist Colin MacNeil!!! No Kull of Atlantis. No Thulsa Doom. No Set Berserkers from the John Milius film! Not very clear wha

Explore! Explore! Repair! Repair! Review! Review! Spoilers! Spoilers! Carly and a grieving Spike Witwicky discover the Autobot Ark. The Shuttle is full to the gills with deactivated G1 Transformers. Jetfire (last seen in Void Rivals #1) arrives to reactivate Teletraan One. He chooses his long time friend Starscream to be repaired first... What I did like: A letters page! Is that the G.I. Joe Crusader Space Shuttle? Optimus Prime is using pro wrestling moves. Is Daniel Warren Johnson a sports entertainment aficionado? Yes he is and we are smelling what he's cooking and it's just too sweeeeeet. Ratchet utilizing flying kicks is actually cartoon accurate. Carly is a Frazetta Girl! The transformations are fantastically drawn. The Autobot Ark never looked this amazingly detailed. Soundwave using his shoulder batteries cannon is a rare treat. Thank you! Soundwave caring about Ravage. If you have pets, you know. Optimus Prime running towards us is very Sunbow Productions. Bravo! Opt

Jim Zub's Conan tale of the undead shows some signs of life, at last. But is it too late? Conan frees a sliver of surviving Barbarians from the icy grip of the possessed picts, is able to get a minuscule amount of payback... but ends up in the soup, literally. What I did not like: Conan not solicitous about the fate of his family members or childhood friends. All the unsightly covers except for the snake one by Roberto (and only from afar).  The old and infirm are still alive? Please! They survived the trip to the citadel? Stop insulting the reader. Only men fight alongside Conan. No vengeful Cimmerian women? That's disappointing and also sexist.  I was getting a Conan the Barbarian (1982 John Milius film) vibe from the very first page. Trying to appeal more to the casual movie fan than the Robert E. Howard scholar. Still no Big Bad for Conan. The letters page was too small and only featured sycophants. Competent creators and editors should crave constructive criticism. Please

Jim Zub's Conan Zombie story progresses at a snail's pace. Conan is still plagued by The Walking Dead... sorry, my mistake: The Possessed Picts. Our favorite Cimmerian and new girlfriend follow the shambling undead back to their den. They also bicker over the ownership of a stolen blade and... have intercourse. Bow chicka witless! What I did not like: Making love outside in the open, in minus zero weather with the stench of death teasing your nostrils while zombies are poking around everywhere. Absurd and hard to swallow. Zub is a Canadian, he should know better when it comes to the cold. Brissa praises Conan way too much. Our hero has a very fragile ego, apparently. Conan is excessively fearless. Shrinking away is not a crime. This comic is turning into a bad video game. The colouring is even more atrocious! Would be so much better in black-and-white. Nice Renato Casaro homage cover! But... Renato is not credited on said cover? Faux pas for sure! Alan Quah's cover reminds

Jim Zub's Conan Zombie story bored me to tears. What I did not like: Not enough story. I felt unsatiated at the end of the issue. The aping of Big John Buscema is disrespectful. Please find your own voice, Roberto De La Torre. Too much hemoglobin. Conan is not a gore comic. Mediocre colours. This really should have been printed only in B&W. Badly drawn bare orbs. Make sure you know how to draw the female form before showing us anything. Maimed maiden. You see, I'm weird that way, I prefer my women with 2 eyes. Conan paying for damages. Conan acting like a perfect gentleman. Conan using a freaking napkin! Conan running TOWARDS the supernatural. Reminding us that young Conan killed an innocent bear just to feel like a big man. Lame! The Living Dead? It's been done already, let it rest. Plagues. In 2023, NOBODY wants to read a story about plagues. The amateurish art used for REH and his ages undreamed of. The embarrassing cover by Mignola. What I did like: Conan The Barbar