BotTalk Reviews

What you'll find inside McSweeney's issue no. sixty-nine: The New Toe by Zach Williams (A two-year-old grows an extra toe.) Asymptote by Siqi Liu (A widow and her daughter wait for the world to end.) 18 or 34 Miles from Perennial Square by Max Delsohn (A feral frank appears in the forest.) A Fable by John Lee Clark (Blind men and an elephant, reimagined.) Stuffed Cabbage Man by Julie Hecht (A writer remembers her neighbours.) This is Not Miami by Fernanda Melchor/Translated by Sophie Hughes (Dockworkers in Veracruz assist stowaways.) Scraps by Leila Renee (A heartbroken girl licks her wounds in a KFC.) True, False, Floating by Mel Kassel (Rib reading is the new palmistry.) An Audacious Man by Evan James (Daring to be bold.) The Reanimator by Mikkel Rosengaard (DMs from the dead.) The New Maite by Yohanca Delgado (A woman comes across a clone of herself.) The Starlight by Lydi Conklin (A pterodactyl crashes into a Pegasus and surmounting selfishness.) The Nominal Sca...

What you'll actually find inside this "parody of a grief manual" by Jason Roeder (a former senior editor and senior writer at The Onion): INTRODUCTION: Devastation Perfected Five Grieving Visualization Power Postures  A Short History of Grief CHAPTER I: Hospitals: Pregaming for Grief  A Hospital Who's Who Health Care Directives (treatments that may be used) Know Your Hospital Televisions Hospice Care Last Words That Wow Using a Last Word Service CHAPTER II: Fun with Aftermath  A List of Funerals, Caskets and Headstones Surefire Eulogy Starters Experiencing Grief (Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance) A Short History of The Never-Released Sixth Stage of Grief How Much Am I Allowed To Blame God? A State-By-State Breakdown Grief Speed Run Dealing with Regrets Visiting The Grave Rating Grief with The Chili Pepper System Dealing with Belongings (Keep, Sell, Donate, etc.) Grief and Toxic Relationships Grieving for Pets A Pupa Press "Books by Insects for Th...

A Scourge of the Serpent Novel by Tim Waggoner Cover by Jeffrey Alan Love  From Titan Books and Conan Properties International Also available unabridged on audiobook from Blackstone Publishing, read by Bradford Hastings  Spoilers! Spoilers!  The Deities of Robert E. Howard's Hyborian Age are rallying against the sinister snake-god Set (the great serpent Jörmungandr) who is busy preparing for the arrival of the even more wicked Woeful Eye (Shuma-Gorath?) who is planning a conquest of Conan's planet. Set recruits Stygian sorcerer Uzzeran (Master of the Revenants (corpses steered by Set shadow-snakes)), Shengis (Uzzeran's Stygian servant who wears the Snare amulet that ensnares Serpent-Men) and Rynthia (a Zamorian woman who was raised by sorceress Nabishut). Ishtar (fertility goddess of the Shemites) recruits Conan and Valja (a Zamorian woman). Mitra (god of the Hyborians symbolized by The Phoenix) recruits Naerys (an Ophirian priestess of Mitra & a former test subject o...

Novel by Tim Lebbon Cover by Jeffrey Alan Love  Illustrations by Juan Alberto Hernández From Titan Books and Conan Properties International Also available unabridged on audiobook from Blackstone Publishing, read by Bradford Hastings  Spoilers! Spoilers!  Conan in now the bored, inactive, pampered, sexagenarian King of Aquilonia. A barely alive and desperate Baht Tann arrives at the royal palace to call in a favour. 40 years ago, Baht Tann saved the life of a 20 year old Conan. They both escaped the Zamoran run salt mines of Tangara, together. Today, Baht Tann is no longer a mercenary, he has a family, they are heartgem prospectors/hunters/sellers.  Grake, a barbarian 6 inches taller than King Conan, and his brigands kill half of Baht Tann's companions, they force the rest and Baht Tann's family to slave for them. Conan picks up his dusty broadsword and Zelata's knife (from The Hour of the Dragon), leaves his wife (Queen Zenobia) and young son (Conn) and departs for t...

Full Title: Jean-Claude Van Damme et ses doubles: de Jean-Claude Van Varenberg à JCVD Author: David Da Silva (not the Brazilian footballer, the other one with the PhD) Publisher: Omaké books ISBN-13: 9782379892103 Finally! A life-long fan gives us a serious and extensive analysis of Van Damme's Hollywood carrier.  What I did like: The author is always positive and respectful.  Nice foreword by screenwriter and film director Sheldon Lettich. A short chapter about Van Damme's box office rival: Steven Seagal. Plenty of unrealized movie projects. Fascinating!  Fresh content from: Keith W. Strandberg (No Retreat, No Surrender (1986)) Eric Karson (Black Eagle (1988), Lionheart (1990)) Christopher Cosby (Bloodsport (1988))  Paulo Tocha (Bloodsport (1988), Death Warrant (1990), In Hell (2003)) David Worth (Bloodsport (1988), Kickboxer (1989)) Paul Hertzog (Bloodsport (1988), Kickboxer (1989)) Dennis Chan (Kickboxer (1989), Knock Off (1998)) Harrison Page (Lionheart (199...

Chekov's Challenge by Walter Koenig and Chris Mcauley In the aftermath of The Wrath of Khan the Enterprise is attacked by Orion Pirates.  During the space battle the Enterprise is boarded and the Orions intend to raid the ship and then destroy it by placing explosives on the Warp Core.  Chekov and his security team manage to defeat the invaders while Sulu performs a daring maneuver that overcomes and destroys the Orion Pirates.    As a story this is... fine.  It adds very little in my opinion.  We get the sense Chekov is in a state of shock, not only from the death of Spock but from his experiences with Khan.  Placing the story between Star Trek II and III is interesting.  There is a very small amount of time one could just about wedge a small story.  There are a few references sprinkled in the story but as a story written by Chekov himself I expected something more substantial.  I think I would have liked it better if you removed the sp...

A Black Stone Novel by James Lovegrove Dedicated to the memory of Robert Ervin Howard who dreamed up whole worlds and peopled them with heroes Cover by Jeffrey Alan Love  From Titan Books and Heroic Signatures Spoilers! Spoilers!  500 years ago. The earth quakes, ruptures and destroys the city of Ghuht, most citizens perish in the cataclysm. Lovecraftian lilac/pink light bleeds out of the earth fissure and transforms the survivors's second generation into flying monsters. The flora and fauna surrounding the city also gets warped and rechristened The Rotlands. The Rotlands are constantly expanding, taking over the planet.  After centuries of inbreeding, the monsters become infertile, they decide to kidnap women from adjacent regions, it doesn't work. Their Leader Khotan-Kha gets a brilliant idea: to further his dying race he'll send emissaries to capture "mutant" children and let the light mutate the youngsters into a new generation of immunized winged creatures. H...

Filled with interviews and many, many images this Hardcover book gives us a look at the making of the original series, animated series and first six films.  If you are looking for something new, some insight or new piece of trivia you won't find it here.  You will find often told tales from the cast and those involved behind the scenes.  Talking points that have been repeated ad nauseam over the years in interviews, dvd extras, convention appearances, autobiographies and other behind the scenes books.  DeForest Kelley recounts the infamous 'favorite fan letter marijuana cigarette' story.  I do find it interesting that the infamous kiss from 'Plato's Stepchildren' is only given one little blurb.  The animated series gets scant coverage, a few measly pages.   There are a few images here that I haven't seen in ages.  In its over sixty year existence there are only so many 'fresh' images out there.  Usually, you get the standard publicity images...

The Conan the Barbarian screenplay adaptation from 1982 is back in print! What!? Crom listened? Yes! By L. Sprague de Camp, his wife Catherine Crook de Camp and Lin Carter  Foreword by L. Sprague de Camp A movie novelisation based on a screenplay by John Milius and Oliver Stone Also available Unabridged on audiobook read by Bradford Hastings  Also available in Portuguese: ISBN-13: 9786554481540  Conan o Bárbaro – Novelização Oficial do Filme Spoilers! Spoilers!  King Conan is know as Conan the Great. Kallias of Shamar is our narrator from southern Aquilonia, instead of Akiro, the Wizard of the Mounds. Corin the smith, Conan's father, masters the secret of steel from the Atlanteans. The father sword's pommel resembles the hooves of an elk, its grip is wrapped with string made from the intestines of forest tigers. Mystic rites are performed to make the Cimmerian sword INVINCIBLE. Conan's father beheads a Vanir raider from Vanaheim and kills a horse. Maeve, Conan's moth...

Omnibus by John C. Hocking Dedicated to lovers of sword-and-sorcery and especially fans who waited for the Living Plague for so long Cover by Jeffrey Alan Love  Illustrations by Richard Pace From Titan Books and Heroic Signatures Also available unabridged on audiobook read by Bradford Hastings Spoilers! Spoilers!  CONAN AND THE EMERALD LOTUS (1995) Stygian mage Ethram-Fal aka the Shemite Eldred the Trader, resurrects the dormant immortal resident of the abandoned Palace of Cetriss (one of the world's mightiest sorcerers), a hybrid of plant and predatory fungus with an insatiable appetite for blood with the blood of his insolent apprentice (freshly executed by Captain Ath, also a Stygian who is given an addictive reddish leaf as a reward). The carnivorous plant's seeds are the sole source of the Emerald Lotus, an addictive green powder that enhances the abilities of sorcerers. The only side effects are growing cravings, madness and death.  Akkharia in Shem, ruled by King ...

Novel by Stephen Michael Stirling with very considerable help by Steve Saffel Dedicated to Stephen's late wife Janet Illustrations by Rob De La Torre From Titan Books and Heroic Signatures Also available unabridged on audiobook, but WITHOUT the Red Nails novella, read by Bradford Hastings  Trivia: Stephen also wrote the introductions to Eons of the Night (The Robert E. Howard Library Vol. 5) and to Trails in Darkness (The Robert E. Howard Library Vol. 6) way back in 1996. The All-New Chronicles of the Worlds Greatest Barbarian Hero start here! Spoilers! Spoilers!  A prequel to Robert E. Howard's Red Nails. A cat infested (cats are sacred to Stygians) Sukhmet tavern south of the River Styx in Stygia. Sword for hire/mercenary Conan, now a scout in Zingaran commander Zarallo’s Free Companions (Zingarans sunk Conan's previous ship), is playing dice with friend Anjallo. Conan notices that two Zamorans are trying to trick Brocas, a young Corinthian, into an unfair duel. Conan des...