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Conan the Barbarian #6 (2023) review

Don't cover my six, Iceman! So much nudity in issue 6, so much nakedness. Maybe the most "au naturel" Conan comic ever printed? BĂȘlit in the buff. Chaundra in the buff. Conan in the buff. Even the winged monster is in the buff. Everybody get naked! Should I follow suit and review this "Not suggested for immature readers" issue in my birthday suit? My Mezco Toyz Solomon Kane action figure (with its inaccurate red sash. It should be green!) next to me is shaking its Puritan head "NO".

Thrice Marked for Death! part deux: The CURSED!... the adaptation of the Steven Seagal movie that never was continues or maybe it is still just the continuation of a gory Queen of the Black Coast sequel by Jim Zub.

Seeing his she-devil of the sea as a Force ghost made Conan a believer in the afterlife.

Preferring to partake in violent heists instead of trying to seek psychiatric assistance in Shadizar the Wicked our tormented Cimmerian from the Hyborian age is still hanging out with his bosom buddies the ridiculously named thieves: The GloryHounds.

We're still at the Temple of Bel and the fan favourite Black Stone is back from obscurity, transformed into a jewel called "Tarim's Touch" and it's now spewing sadistic spectres with ice-cold paws in search of flesh to possess! Steel does nothing, but Silver does slow down their ghostly assault. All 3 Hounds: Greff, Kamal and Chaundra get lacerated by the apparitions. Conan ices lots of faithfuls. The frigid phantasms find the man from the North to be a kindred spirit, approve of his slaughter, then dissipate.

Jim Zub is still making Conan act in despicable ways. Our former buccaneer is still raging, still lashing out at the world in great anger. Like a big spoiled melancholic man-child on steroids, our boy from Cimmeria keeps massacring randos in horrible ways. Will the barbarian baby ever get his fill? Surely he knows that a multitude of gratuitous killings will never resuscitate his naturist sweetheart.

The spent Black Stone gets sold, the thieves get their gold coins and Conan finally gets back to drinking his misery away.

Conan takes Chaundra to bed and she gets taken over... sharply. Is our sword and sorcery hero screwed? We'll know for sure in 30 days.

What I did like:

The terrific Patch Zircher tetraptych! Combine covers #5-8 to form a Conan quadriptych. All the cool cats are doing it. Do it!

The cover by Dan Panosian exhibits a freaking fantastic perfectly chiseled masterpiece of womanhood! Dan is the man! He also did a sister cover for Savage Red Sonja #2.

Colours by Diego Rodriguez are still ok.

Goddess Badb mentioned.

Thulsa Doom callback.

What I did not like:

NO Brissa callback. Gone from the comic but not forgotten!

Time to swipe left on Doug Braithwaite's art. Is Doug swiping Alex Ross's work? If so that is not cool. Not cool at all.

A substandard heist from Zub. Entering the temple is almost impossible to do, but fleeing from it is quite easy.

Inspired by Raiders of the Lost Ark or maybe Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire? Has to be.

Who you gonna call, Indy? An incompetent editor, that's who! The Queen of the Black Coast recap was in very poor taste, Murray. Please try to stay classy.

The stupid gore.

More laurels for Conan's love making abilities. Hilarious. Our hero with the fragile ego. Even drunk and depressed he still impresses.

Still no cover by KyuYong Eom!!!

Are we ever getting a pull-out poster of the Robert E. Howard Group Shot by Rafael Kayanan?

Are we ever getting a pull-out poster of Yag-kosha by Roberto de la Torre?

I give it a 4/10. Quit procrastinating, Titan Comics + Heroic Signatures and give us a Conan vs Lucio Fulci's Conquest mini-series tout de suite!!!

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