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Conan the Barbarian #7 (2023) review

Thrice Marked for Death! part three: HAUNTED!... Jim Zub's vulgar sequel to Queen of the Black Coast continues.

Conan is remembering "the good old times" with his bipolar girlfriend BĂȘlit.

Back to the present, a bewitched Chaundra "The Chat" (It's somehow very important to constantly remind the reader that she's nicknamed "The Chat" but apparently Zub means a chatterbox not a songbird or a cat.) tries to assassinate our Cimmerian. "The Chat", now with deadite-like looks and enhanced strength, stabs Conan in the trapezius and slits a poor random dude's tongue. Conan kills her.

Bleeding, haunted by the past, lost in his fevered mind, Conan garrottes BĂȘlit.
Conan stumbles upon Kamal's secret gathering point.
The barbarian finds his allies from the guild of thieves butchered by Kamal and locksmith Greff, both also possessed, just like "The Chat".

Conan kills his two bandit buddies, dead Chaundra shows up, all 3 spectres of the Black Stone/Tarim's Touch depart their separate departed hosts and take over Conan.

Conan is now a thrice possessed tool for Thulsa Doom.

What I did like:

Deadites and H. P. Lovecraft's Necronomicon appear in The Evil Dead films. Robert E. Howard and Lovecraft were pen pals.

The Conan The Barbarian Vol. 1: Bound in Black Stone commercial looks cool.

What I did not like:

The Evil Dead but without the humour. You're doing it wrong.

This substandard tale from Zub drags and drags.

Incompetent editors! Conan can't put a sleeper hold on a petite possessed woman? He can't run away? He has to destroy her face? He has to kill her? This is vile and unacceptable! Chris Butera and Matt Murray, shame on you both.

Not crediting Barry Windsor-Smith on the REH and his ages undreamed of page. Not groovy at all!

The stupid "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" gore.

Will we ever see Thulsa Doom? James Earl Jones where are you!? Send James his money and let's get this ball rolling already.

Not promoting the return of SOLOMON KANE by Patch Zircher in SAVAGE SWORD OF CONAN #1 (of 6)! Not even one variant cover with SOLOMON KANE? Pathetic!

Still no King Kull.

Still no cover by KyuYong Eom!

Still no cover by British comics artist Colin MacNeil!

Francesca Baerald's Hyborian Age poster is still not available from Diamond Comic Distributors!

I give it a 0/10. Zero? You put your hands on women, you get zero. Titan Comics + Heroic Signatures give us a Conan vs Mansyur Daman's Mandala (Bumilangit Komik) mini-series tout de suite!!!

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