Bottalk Reviews

This is not a black lotus induced dream. What you're seeing on the spinner rack is real! It's a brand new bimonthly Conan black-and-white magazine!  Yup! 80 spectacular pages of barbaric savagery printed on newsprint!  Inside this anthology you'll find plenty of treasures: A Personal Introduction by Roy Thomas Map of the Hyborian Age by Francesca Baerald A fresh new Pin-Up of Conan by Rob De La Torre A fresh new Pin-Up of Bêlit by Rebeca SubversiveGirl Puebla A fresh new Pin-Up of Solomon Kane by Howard Chaykin Pin-Up of the variant cover by Gerardo Zaffino with Robert E. Howard's poem: The Road of Kings  Pin-Up of the cover by Joe Jusko Solomon Kane, an essay by archaeologist Jeffrey Shanks Conan & The Dragon Horde by John Arcudi & Max Von Fafner Max is killing it on the art! Departing the Wahuan desert, now setting foot into the steppes of Hyrkania, General Conan is leading the 200 men - 1 woman army of exiled Prince Zaahid of Ul-Dalkhana, mostly gold lusting

Thrice Marked for Death! part four: Sacrifice!... Jim Zub's blood-soaked sequel to Queen of the Black Coast ends here. We get more "amazing" memories of Conan's time with his girlfriend aboard the Tigress.  Conan is sword fighting for fun with Lanre. Bêlit wants to spar with an ancient weapon (Brule/Brissa's Pictish blade) that she just stumbled upon, Conan refuses to indulge her because of his feelings for it. In a jealous fit of rage Bêlit tries to toss the half-sword overboard. Conan stops her. Back to the present, Conan, now a thrice possessed tool for Thulsa Doom is walking around the city of Shadizar. We get more flashbacks: Conan breaking the vessel from issue 4, the jungles of Kush, his fight with a shapechanger in the grasslands, the selling of the Pictish blade to Jaali the trader.  The nefarious spectres inside our Cimmerian want that blade... to corrupt it. Jason Voorhees...  I mean, Conan goes back to the pawnshop, kills Jaali's nephew and Thulsa

Thrice Marked for Death! part three: HAUNTED!... Jim Zub's vulgar sequel to Queen of the Black Coast continues. Conan is remembering "the good old times" with his bipolar girlfriend Bêlit. Back to the present, a bewitched Chaundra "The Chat" (It's somehow very important to constantly remind the reader that she's nicknamed "The Chat" but apparently Zub means a chatterbox not a songbird or a cat.) tries to assassinate our Cimmerian. "The Chat", now with deadite-like looks and enhanced strength, stabs Conan in the trapezius and slits a poor random dude's tongue. Conan kills her. Bleeding, haunted by the past, lost in his fevered mind, Conan garrottes Bêlit. Conan stumbles upon Kamal's secret gathering point. The barbarian finds his allies from the guild of thieves butchered by Kamal and locksmith Greff, both also possessed, just like "The Chat". Conan kills his two bandit buddies, dead Chaundra shows up, all 3 spectres

eBook by Scott Oden Cover once again by E. M. Gist  From Titan Books and Heroic Signatures Oden? The dude who wrote the introduction to "Sword Woman and Other Historical Adventures" AND THE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND CONAN UNCONQUERED Deluxe Edition exclusive 9000-word ebook set during the events of Black Colossus using the Yaralet fragment? Yes, the one and the same. Spoilers! Spoilers!  A sequel to Robert E. Howard's The Devil in Iron. While awaiting his new city lord from Aghrapur, the reticent new regent of Khawarizm, old Ghaznavi is enjoying expensive wine from Kyros in his study. Karash Khan, the shapeshifting leader of The Nine (The dude has 8 Sicari "brothers". Get it?) appears. The former counsellor of Turan desires to avenge his fallen lord, Jehungir Agha (killed by Conan in Devil in Iron on Xapur, an island on the Vilayet Sea).  To get his payback, Ghaznavi promises to turn over The temple of Erlik to the Sicari, a splinter cult of Erlik. Our Cimmerian comman

Don't cover my six, Iceman! So much nudity in issue 6, so much nakedness. Maybe the most "au naturel" Conan comic ever printed? Bêlit in the buff. Chaundra in the buff. Conan in the buff. Even the winged monster is in the buff. Everybody get naked! Should I follow suit and review this "Not suggested for immature readers" issue in my birthday suit? My Mezco Toyz Solomon Kane action figure (with its inaccurate red sash. It should be green!) next to me is shaking its Puritan head "NO". Thrice Marked for Death! part deux: The CURSED!... the adaptation of the Steven Seagal movie that never was continues or maybe it is still just the continuation of a gory Queen of the Black Coast sequel by Jim Zub. Seeing his she-devil of the sea as a Force ghost made Conan a believer in the afterlife. Preferring to partake in violent heists instead of trying to seek psychiatric assistance in Shadizar the Wicked our tormented Cimmerian from the Hyborian age is still hanging

aka Les Ombres de Thulé Basil Poledouris's Conan the Barbarian soundtrack starts playing in the background... Have recent graphic novels been failing to enrich your lives lately? Time to rejoice! Humanoids, Inc. / Les Humanoïdes Associés come to us in our hour of need with a fresh new horror comic chock-full of deadly serious dark fantasy goodness. Vallum Antonini, 163 AD. With the help of the enchantress Ithome, the vengeance consumed General Horatius of Rome wants to summon the Hirudinea, dark deities known as the Shadows of Thule to destroy the Pictish people who murdered his pregnant wife. Unbeknownst to him, Ithome has an ulterior plan: Use the Hirudinea to eradicate Rome! Will the seals on the seven megaliths be reinforced in time? Will the Lovecraftian leeches be able break down this barrier that divides our dimensions? With the assistance of the Gaels and Thorfel, a Hemsworth look-alike Celtic Roman soldier, will a doppelgänger of Robert E. Howard's Bran Mak Morn: The L

Robert E. Howard's Solomon Kane the dour English Puritan Swashbuckler gets a complete collection of his classic Marvel adventures. Sadly no Dark Horse Comics Guy Davis monster creations inside at all. You get All the pin-ups, adverts, text pieces + All the Kane stories from The Sword of Solomon Kane limited series, Savage Sword of Conan, Conan Saga, Kull and the Barbarians, Marvel Premiere, Marvel Preview, Monsters Unleashed and Dracula Lives. My favourite stories are: A Marvel Team-Up featuring the ectomorph: Kane in his twilight years and the mesomorph: Conan the Barbarian in his prime (The Moon of Skulls II: Death's Dark Riders by Roy Thomas and Colin MacNeil). Kane versus a ghost that kills (Skulls in the Stars by Ralph Reese). Kane versus a Lovecraftian cloud of blood (The Footfalls Within by Don Glut, Will Meugniot and Steve Gan). Kane versus the bat-people (Wings in the Night by Don Glut and David Wenzel). Kane versus vampires/zombies/the walking dead men (The Hills of t

Thrice Marked for Death!... it sounds like a must see Steven Seagal movie to me, but it's not, sword-brothers, sword-sisters... it's only a Queen of the Black Coast sequel by Jim Zub. With his buccaneer days over for the moment and with the Amra, the Lion persona still further along in his future, Conan the Cimmerian corsair is trying to get a certain she-devil of the sea out of his system. Back on terra firma our woebegone barbarian brigand has joined a guild of thieves called the GloryHounds. Will this brand-new arc finally quench my thirst for a good heroic fantasy story? We shall see. What I did like: The Patch Zircher tetraptych! Combine covers #5-8 to form a cool Conan quadriptych.  Doug Braithwaite is hitting it out of the London stadium. Bravo! Colours by Diego Rodriguez are fine. The chat? You mean the cat burglar? A little taste of French Canada from Zub is always good to see. Shadizar is full of shady characters. Erlik mentioned. The Living Tarim mentioned. Bel, god

Spoilers! Spoilers!  The merciless Starscream ices soldier Frosting, this pisses off Channing Tatum... oops, I mean Hauser so much so that he will start his own secret military science fiction unit: G.I. Joe. Conrad is calling his Ninja croupier friend in Vegas: Snake Eyes, right now. Starscream squished his best friend, now a sober, somber Sparkplug Witwicky wants retribution. Could Starscream be correct? Are the Autobots actually pure evil? Yes! They want to dominate the human race? Yes! The malevolent Optimus Prime kills a fawn, oh dear, and does not bury it! The hypocrite leader of the Autobots clearly cries bogus tears for the baby deer and the fallen Bumblebee. Crocodile tears from the one also called Alligaticon! Never forget that Prime murdered Teletraan One (see last issue), to stop it from reviving more upstanding and decent Decepticons, but also to keep it quiet, naturally, loose spaceship lips sink ships you know. The foul Cliffjumper fakes that he's afraid and unaware

aka Conan Le Cimmérien - Le Maraudeur noir Clearly inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter and never published during his lifetime, The Black Stranger by Robert E. Howard gets poorly adapted in France. Robert just can't get a break. The amateurish art of Jean-Luc Masbou is not ready for prime time. The human form is not mastered at all. Enthusiasts of anatomy will be severely upset. Faces look all too often like boiled potatoes or rotting pumpkins. Nonetheless lots of work is put in the vegetation of the Pictish wilderness, rock formations, the fort, masted sailing ships, weapons and clothes. The strange black Stygian mage/demon also disappoints by not being consistent or creepy enough. The terrible lettering makes the tale almost illegible. The pin-ups for The Treasure of Tranicos are all embarrassing except for the one by master Philippe Druillet, but it's cropped. Cropped? What the heck? Yes, and this is extremely disrespectful. Shame on you Glénat, Jean-Dav

Jim Zub's miserable and interminable zombie tale of ennui ends, at last. Conan transcends the abyss soup, chills with Brule, kills a Lovecraftian creature and escapes this poorly written story arc. What I did like: A cover that features A WOMAN of the Hyborian age by Giada Marchisio!! Bound in Black Stone is done, finished. My boy, Brule, the Spear-Slayer finally appears. Collapsing structures is a very Howardian way of finishing a sword and sorcery tale. Conan Father’s Sword from the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger film appears. The Frost-Giant's Daughter cover by Cary Nord is bitter sweet because Titan Comics are presently not adapting the stories of Robert E. Howard. It's only pastiches for now. Let's hope they change their minds and give us adaptations in the future! Nice cover by Nick Percival. What I did not like: Still no cover by British comics artist Colin MacNeil!!! No Kull of Atlantis. No Thulsa Doom. No Set Berserkers from the John Milius film! Not very clear wha