Bottalk Reviews

Are you breathing heavily? Are you hearing strange electronic sounds? Your gobsmacked eyes are not deceiving you! It's the first of three fabulous Rom-nibuses. Collecting Rom: Spaceknight #1-29 and Power Man and Iron Fist #73. Offered in 4 different slipcovers: two from Frank Miller, one from Sal Buscema and one from George Pérez. All four slipcover spines are different too. Extras include: Intro by Chris Ryall. You get all the Space Notes letter columns/pages. 2 unpublished Rom #1 covers by Ed Hannigan and Mike Netzer. Parker Brothers advert. 3 Marvel house ads. Comic Reader #169 back-cover. Sales pitch to Parker Brothers (now part of Hasbro) by John Romita Jr. and Marie Severin. Original Comic Art pages from Sal Buscema (5) and Greg LaRocque/Steve Mitchell (only 1). Rom #8 cover art by Micronauts artist Michael Golden. George Pérez commission from 2013. Isn't "Read-Only Memory" just a ripoff of Gort from The Day the Earth Stood Still? No! Rom is much more than that.

eBook by Scott Oden Cover once again by E. M. Gist  From Titan Books and Heroic Signatures Oden? The dude who wrote the introduction to "Sword Woman and Other Historical Adventures" AND THE IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND CONAN UNCONQUERED Deluxe Edition exclusive 9000-word ebook set during the events of Black Colossus using the Yaralet fragment? Yes, the one and the same. Spoilers! Spoilers!  A sequel to Robert E. Howard's The Devil in Iron. While awaiting his new city lord from Aghrapur, the reticent new regent of Khawarizm, old Ghaznavi is enjoying expensive wine from Kyros in his study. Karash Khan, the shapeshifting leader of The Nine (The dude has 8 Sicari "brothers". Get it?) appears. The former counsellor of Turan desires to avenge his fallen lord, Jehungir Agha (killed by Conan in Devil in Iron on Xapur, an island on the Vilayet Sea).  To get his payback, Ghaznavi promises to turn over The temple of Erlik to the Sicari, a splinter cult of Erlik. Our Cimmerian comman

Is this a banana daiquiri recipe book? No, it's a comic book. Is this a Planet of the Aches adaptation? Be serious, No. Is this an adaptation of Pierre Boulle's screenplay La Planète des Hommes by Dana Gould? Sadly, No. An all-new PREQUEL to the original simian sci-fi classic from 1968? Yes. Far from Ape City, we find our favourite hippie chimpanzee Lucius connecting with nature next to a giant tree. He saves Nova from a Gorilla patrol helmed by the helmeted General Ursus (Played excellently by James Gregory in Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970)). Suddenly, a giant someone looms over Lucius. The next day, Lucius's aunt Zira is worried about her nephew's disappearance. Her fiancé Cornelius goes looking for Lucius, but finds Nova instead. Nova "tells him" that Lucius was taken into the Forbidden Zone aka The radioactive ruins of New York City. A vexed and remorseful Dr. Zaius forbids Cornelius from venturing into the Zone... because it's Forbidden. As we

Don't cover my six, Iceman! So much nudity in issue 6, so much nakedness. Maybe the most "au naturel" Conan comic ever printed? Bêlit in the buff. Chaundra in the buff. Conan in the buff. Even the winged monster is in the buff. Everybody get naked! Should I follow suit and review this "Not suggested for immature readers" issue in my birthday suit? My Mezco Toyz Solomon Kane action figure (with its inaccurate red sash. It should be green!) next to me is shaking its Puritan head "NO". Thrice Marked for Death! part deux: The CURSED!... the adaptation of the Steven Seagal movie that never was continues or maybe it is still just the continuation of a gory Queen of the Black Coast sequel by Jim Zub. Seeing his she-devil of the sea as a Force ghost made Conan a believer in the afterlife. Preferring to partake in violent heists instead of trying to seek psychiatric assistance in Shadizar the Wicked our tormented Cimmerian from the Hyborian age is still hanging

Predator: The Original Screenplay adaptation by Jeremy Barlow and Patrick Blaine is still not available to buy from The House of Ideas. Have mercy, Marvel! Should you stick around for Percy's PvW #4, the very last issue of PvW? Dudes and dudettes let us find out who's the best there is, the best there was, the best there ever will be. This issue: The Predator visits Logan-san in Japan. The Predator attempts to kill Charles Xavier, destroys X-Mansion, tries to kidnap Wolverine but is thwarted by gifted teenagers. Wolverine decides to hide in a bush for a full week in the "Canadian wilderness". Our favourite x-man is waiting for his extraterrestrial playmate to show up for his stolen helmet. The Predator finally arrives, puts his old helmet on and leaves his homemade bear-skull headgear full of alien tech on the ground for anyone to pick up. To catch his prey, Wolverine puts one of his own blue eyes in a human shaped pile of mud. He leaps down on the Predator, but out o

eBook by Jonathan Maberry Cover by Guillem H. Pongiluppi Illustrations by Patrick Zircher From Titan Books and Heroic Signatures Spoilers! Spoilers! Very loosely based on the real life of Thiess of Kaltenbrun aka the Livonian werewolf. Swedish Livonia, near the Baltic Sea, 1598 AD, about a couple of years after the events of "The Return of Sir Richard Grenville". Solomon stumbles upon a strange massacre: a farming community decimated by Kurt Grieg, a Nachzehrer from Austria and his gang of brigands. Will Kane file a grievance with the state of New York or will he unleash a world of hurt on the demonic Kurt? Will the villagers be avenged? Will our heroes get to the chopper on time? You'll have to download the ebook to find out. It's a well-researched narrative that lifts the veil on the secrets of the benandanti werewolves of Italy. We discover that these "Good Walkers" are actually benevolent Catholic lycanthropes that serve God. Each born with a caul, a mas

aka Les Ombres de Thulé Basil Poledouris's Conan the Barbarian soundtrack starts playing in the background... Have recent graphic novels been failing to enrich your lives lately? Time to rejoice! Humanoids, Inc. / Les Humanoïdes Associés come to us in our hour of need with a fresh new horror comic chock-full of deadly serious dark fantasy goodness. Vallum Antonini, 163 AD. With the help of the enchantress Ithome, the vengeance consumed General Horatius of Rome wants to summon the Hirudinea, dark deities known as the Shadows of Thule to destroy the Pictish people who murdered his pregnant wife. Unbeknownst to him, Ithome has an ulterior plan: Use the Hirudinea to eradicate Rome! Will the seals on the seven megaliths be reinforced in time? Will the Lovecraftian leeches be able break down this barrier that divides our dimensions? With the assistance of the Gaels and Thorfel, a Hemsworth look-alike Celtic Roman soldier, will a doppelgänger of Robert E. Howard's Bran Mak Morn: The L

Predator: The Original Screenplay adaptation by Jeremy Barlow and Patrick Blaine is still not on the stands... but don't be too sad, there's a comic out there waiting for you, it's PvW #3 and it features some spectacular Zama art! This issue: It's not very clear but apparently the Predator is now pining for adamantium, the indestructible metal bonded to our diminutive hero. Since the Predator isn't talking it's kinda hard to tell. What I did like: Japanese Transformers artist superstar Kei Zama is the reason to buy the book! Multiple copies would be best. You've got to support, Kei! Okay? Pilot is a Schwarzenegger homage. Other Pilot is a Carl Weathers homage. NO Xenomorph in the trophy room. Makes sense since the Predator in this story is a cowardly pullet. Reverse-engineering a Predator mask. What I did not like: A Predator killing a sleeping prey. Hard to swallow. Even if the Yautja is lusting for revenge. Filleting a comatose Logan gives out barely any b

Robert E. Howard's Solomon Kane the dour English Puritan Swashbuckler gets a complete collection of his classic Marvel adventures. Sadly no Dark Horse Comics Guy Davis monster creations inside at all. You get All the pin-ups, adverts, text pieces + All the Kane stories from The Sword of Solomon Kane limited series, Savage Sword of Conan, Conan Saga, Kull and the Barbarians, Marvel Premiere, Marvel Preview, Monsters Unleashed and Dracula Lives. My favourite stories are: A Marvel Team-Up featuring the ectomorph: Kane in his twilight years and the mesomorph: Conan the Barbarian in his prime (The Moon of Skulls II: Death's Dark Riders by Roy Thomas and Colin MacNeil). Kane versus a ghost that kills (Skulls in the Stars by Ralph Reese). Kane versus a Lovecraftian cloud of blood (The Footfalls Within by Don Glut, Will Meugniot and Steve Gan). Kane versus the bat-people (Wings in the Night by Don Glut and David Wenzel). Kane versus vampires/zombies/the walking dead men (The Hills of t

Thrice Marked for Death!... it sounds like a must see Steven Seagal movie to me, but it's not, sword-brothers, sword-sisters... it's only a Queen of the Black Coast sequel by Jim Zub. With his buccaneer days over for the moment and with the Amra, the Lion persona still further along in his future, Conan the Cimmerian corsair is trying to get a certain she-devil of the sea out of his system. Back on terra firma our woebegone barbarian brigand has joined a guild of thieves called the GloryHounds. Will this brand-new arc finally quench my thirst for a good heroic fantasy story? We shall see. What I did like: The Patch Zircher tetraptych! Combine covers #5-8 to form a cool Conan quadriptych.  Doug Braithwaite is hitting it out of the London stadium. Bravo! Colours by Diego Rodriguez are fine. The chat? You mean the cat burglar? A little taste of French Canada from Zub is always good to see. Shadizar is full of shady characters. Erlik mentioned. The Living Tarim mentioned. Bel, god

Spoilers! Spoilers!  The merciless Starscream ices soldier Frosting, this pisses off Channing Tatum... oops, I mean Hauser so much so that he will start his own secret military science fiction unit: G.I. Joe. Conrad is calling his Ninja croupier friend in Vegas: Snake Eyes, right now. Starscream squished his best friend, now a sober, somber Sparkplug Witwicky wants retribution. Could Starscream be correct? Are the Autobots actually pure evil? Yes! They want to dominate the human race? Yes! The malevolent Optimus Prime kills a fawn, oh dear, and does not bury it! The hypocrite leader of the Autobots clearly cries bogus tears for the baby deer and the fallen Bumblebee. Crocodile tears from the one also called Alligaticon! Never forget that Prime murdered Teletraan One (see last issue), to stop it from reviving more upstanding and decent Decepticons, but also to keep it quiet, naturally, loose spaceship lips sink ships you know. The foul Cliffjumper fakes that he's afraid and unaware

aka Conan Le Cimmérien - Le Maraudeur noir Clearly inspired by Nathaniel Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter and never published during his lifetime, The Black Stranger by Robert E. Howard gets poorly adapted in France. Robert just can't get a break. The amateurish art of Jean-Luc Masbou is not ready for prime time. The human form is not mastered at all. Enthusiasts of anatomy will be severely upset. Faces look all too often like boiled potatoes or rotting pumpkins. Nonetheless lots of work is put in the vegetation of the Pictish wilderness, rock formations, the fort, masted sailing ships, weapons and clothes. The strange black Stygian mage/demon also disappoints by not being consistent or creepy enough. The terrible lettering makes the tale almost illegible. The pin-ups for The Treasure of Tranicos are all embarrassing except for the one by master Philippe Druillet, but it's cropped. Cropped? What the heck? Yes, and this is extremely disrespectful. Shame on you Glénat, Jean-Dav

Predator: The Original Screenplay adaptation by Jeremy Barlow and Patrick Blaine is still unpublished, so I have to review this gory Percy comic instead. I can make it. I can make it. Our Yautja from last issue is still obsessed with Wolverine. The trophy hunting extraterrestrial really wants Logan's mint out of package adamantium spine for his collection. If you're a collector you know what I'm talking about. Sadly, we get zero retractable claws vs retractable claws action this issue. Who will be the best there is at what they do? Do I really have to ask the question? What I did like: Wolverine is an arachnologist, he knows the sounds spiders make, knows about ticks. Impressive. Alabama ticks get mentioned. Old Painless clears the jungle once again. Sabretooth avenges Jesse Ventura. He did the former Governor of Minnesota proud. The Predator (1987) score by Alan Silvestri is still playing in my head. Maybe I should see a doctor. What I did not like: Canada. Just Canada. It

Jim Zub's miserable and interminable zombie tale of ennui ends, at last. Conan transcends the abyss soup, chills with Brule, kills a Lovecraftian creature and escapes this poorly written story arc. What I did like: A cover that features A WOMAN of the Hyborian age by Giada Marchisio!! Bound in Black Stone is done, finished. My boy, Brule, the Spear-Slayer finally appears. Collapsing structures is a very Howardian way of finishing a sword and sorcery tale. Conan Father’s Sword from the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger film appears. The Frost-Giant's Daughter cover by Cary Nord is bitter sweet because Titan Comics are presently not adapting the stories of Robert E. Howard. It's only pastiches for now. Let's hope they change their minds and give us adaptations in the future! Nice cover by Nick Percival. What I did not like: Still no cover by British comics artist Colin MacNeil!!! No Kull of Atlantis. No Thulsa Doom. No Set Berserkers from the John Milius film! Not very clear wha