Bottalk Reviews

Who was that smartly-dressed reporter gracefully swimming around NYC? It was our very own always effervescent Bottalkian, Bounce, and she bravely fought cataclysmic flash floods and heavy rainstorms to bring us pictures from the Hasbro Showroom Tour at New York Toy Fair 2023. We would like to thank: Whitney Spencer, Jennifer Cruz Santos and Witney Williams for their invaluable assistance. Thanks a million, Bounce! Transformers: Rise of the Beasts, Rise of the Beasts Movie Beast Alliance, Rise of the Beasts Command & Convert Animatronic Optimus Primal, Bumblebee, Transformers: EarthSpark, Marvel Avengers Epic Hero Series, Spider-Man: No Way Home, Spider-Man Web Splashers, Mixin' Moods Grogu, Star Wars: The Black Series, Star Wars: The Vintage Collection, Star Wars Mission Fleet, Droidables and more.

Wolverine, unlike Benjamin Percy, is very well versed in Predator movies. A big fan! The diminutive Canadian has streamed them all on small screens, multiple times. He also clearly read all the Dark Horse comics, even the unpublished Predator: The Original Screenplay adaptation by Jeremy Barlow and Patrick Blaine. Logan knows everything about the demons who make trophies of men, even that they are called the Yautja and Marvel's favourite son is not impressed. LOL. What I did like: Old Painless makes an appearance. Kinda. Krull (1983) homage. The Predator (1987) score by Alan Silvestri was playing in my head. Predator vs Wolverine #3 will feature art by Japanese Transformers artist superstar Kei Zama! What I did not like: A big cat would stay clear from a weird 7 foot tall alien wearing fishnet and a metal codpiece. A dead Predator still holding his own weapon? AND the weapons that killed him are still stuck to him? LOL No Peter Cullen cameo! No Anna Gonsalves! No Franco Columbu med

It's Wouzit's time to shine! Who is this Wouzit? It's actually Pierre Tissot and he's just rejuvenated his fantastically delightful and famous The Great Red (Le Grand Rouge) to mesmerize a new generation of readers. This graphic novel is also a great way to practice your French. The self-taught Mr. Tissot has been honing his craft for years now. Fans have watched him bloom into a mature craftsman and this new amended/expanded/completely redrawn edition that sports thirty extra pages, shows off his improved story telling skills on every single page. Ivan Barnave, our influenceable protagonist is a scammer that prefers to paint the town red, your typical red-headed stepchild without a red cent to his name... and now, sadly, he has blood on his hands. Sentenced to death Ivan clumsily escapes his captors... but ends up stranded on a strange island. Miles away from civilization, surrounded by a fauna that is disturbing and equally dangerous, he quickly becomes lost in the i

Don't look for this Marvel Masterworks that is masquerading as an Omnibus. You may not like what you find. But, all joking aside, if you are a fan of extremely lurid colours in your comics you'll be in bronze age ape heaven. The direct market edition with the Gil Kane cover has Dr. Zaius on its spine while the standard edition with the new E.M. Gist cover has a Dr. Zira spine. Pick your spine doctor wisely for your bookshelf. The scripts, not the actual movies, of Planet of the Apes (1968) and Beneath the Planet of the Apes (1970) are expertly adapted by Doug Moench, George Tuska and Alfredo Alcala. This means that both adaptions feature many altered, extra and cut scenes not seen on screen. Note that you will find absolutely no physical likenesses to actors. Charlton Heston (1923-2008), Robert Gunner (1931-2001), Jeff Burton (1924-1988), James Franciscus (1934-1991), Victor Buono (1938-1982) and Linda Harrison are completely unrecognizable. The Omnibus collects the complete el

Jim Zub's Conan Zombie story progresses at a snail's pace. Conan is still plagued by The Walking Dead... sorry, my mistake: The Possessed Picts. Our favorite Cimmerian and new girlfriend follow the shambling undead back to their den. They also bicker over the ownership of a stolen blade and... have intercourse. Bow chicka witless! What I did not like: Making love outside in the open, in minus zero weather with the stench of death teasing your nostrils while zombies are poking around everywhere. Absurd and hard to swallow. Zub is a Canadian, he should know better when it comes to the cold. Brissa praises Conan way too much. Our hero has a very fragile ego, apparently. Conan is excessively fearless. Shrinking away is not a crime. This comic is turning into a bad video game. The colouring is even more atrocious! Would be so much better in black-and-white. Nice Renato Casaro homage cover! But... Renato is not credited on said cover? Faux pas for sure! Alan Quah's cover reminds

You know the story: From director Albert Pyun. A pseudo sequel to Masters of the Universe (1987), Heavily inspired by Once Upon a Time in the West (1968) and re-edited by director Sheldon Lettich and friends:  In a plague infested future, a Slinger strangely named Gibson Rickenbacker (Jean-Claude Van Damme) hunts down the animalistic Flesh Pirates that slaughtered his surrogate family. The original motion picture soundtrack for the recut version of CYBORG by composer/synthesizer king Kevin Bassinson is fantastic, iconic and forever ingrained in our minds, but this newly recovered unused score from 1988 by Tony Riparetti and Jim Saad is something quite different. Just like Pyun's original cut of his film, this unreleased soundscape is louder, scarier and full of frenetic primal energy. Normally rejected scores don't cut the mustard, but this Director's Cut will delight your eardrums and give you the chance to experience the apocalyptic world of CYBORG, a very credible future

aka La Planète des Singes: La fin des Hommes Collecting Planet of The Apes (2023) #1-5. Planet Of The Apes #5 finishes with the following epitaph: "This is the end for now..." And I say: Good! A repetitive, repetitive, nasty, boring comic book that went nowhere finally comes to its merciful end. The disappointing Planet Of The Apes comic from The House of Ideas featured 2 tales: a much too coordinated Militia murdering apes AND the story of a Gorilla soldier leading his guerrilla comrades. What I did NOT like: NO James Franco! NO Dr. Zaius! Disrespecting the Statue of Liberty, a gift from the people of France. A pandemic thriller with no thrills that fixates on fanaticism and hate. Mainstream heavy metal bands referenced too many times. The frequent time hopping. Trained soldiers unaware that apes can communicate via sign language. Incompetent people in power. Executions without due process of law. A multitude of simians with toilet seats around their necks. No letters page!

Yes, I slogged through Jeff Lemire's boggy story. A tale that ignored its target audience. Alan Moore's Swamp Thing, not Alec Holland as advertised, is brought back to our realm in a post-apocalyptic future to fight an evil, goofy looking Swamp avatar and masses of gruesome monsters. That's pretty much it. Why was such a simple story told in 3 expensive Black Label books? I have no clue. Actually, I do, it's called: Green aka Money. What I did NOT like: NO Anton Arcane!!! A forgettable, unimaginative villain. A vulnerable avatar of the green. That weird perverted paradise dimension where Swamp Thing "lives" with his forever young wife and child. His wife still with him and his daughter not a full grown woman insults long time Swamp Thing readers. I much prefer the more credible retired “My Blue Heaven” version of Swamp Thing living alone in a pocket universe. How does Maxine Baker/Animal Woman keep her large animals fed? The absence of a higher power, yet the

I just cannot refuse another great yarn by the Godfather of British comics, Pat Mills! Simon Bisley's art looks a little lazy at times, but Clint Langley's art is solid and carries the book. Potty mouth sewage droid Ro-Jaws and sniper extraordinaire Joe Pineapples are stuck on a feces asteroid or is it a cacasteroid or maybe an assteroid for millions of years. Since he's marooned for many millennia, Joe takes the time to reflect on his life, and tries to forget a comrade from his checkered past: an influential female that he had fallen for. It's a story about longing to be human, escaping your fleshy envelope, immortality, free will, identity, losing your mind, love, loss, friendship and the memories that linger inside your soul, even the festering ones that you would like to erase. Lots of things to digest. Best LOL moments: Ro-Jaws telling Joe that he understands perfectly what ghost Swarf Feegar is saying, Joe asking Ro if he has other voices available in his system

Jim Zub's Conan Zombie story bored me to tears. What I did not like: Not enough story. I felt unsatiated at the end of the issue. The aping of Big John Buscema is disrespectful. Please find your own voice, Roberto De La Torre. Too much hemoglobin. Conan is not a gore comic. Mediocre colours. This really should have been printed only in B&W. Badly drawn bare orbs. Make sure you know how to draw the female form before showing us anything. Maimed maiden. You see, I'm weird that way, I prefer my women with 2 eyes. Conan paying for damages. Conan acting like a perfect gentleman. Conan using a freaking napkin! Conan running TOWARDS the supernatural. Reminding us that young Conan killed an innocent bear just to feel like a big man. Lame! The Living Dead? It's been done already, let it rest. Plagues. In 2023, NOBODY wants to read a story about plagues. The amateurish art used for REH and his ages undreamed of. The embarrassing cover by Mignola. What I did like: Conan The Barbar